My Views

ADHD employees are four times more likely to experience workplace bullying (Nielsen, et al., 2016), and whilst the reasons for this may be varied and complex – there does also seem to be commonalities of causes between the experiences of those affected, along with other anecdotal evidence from relevant health professionals.

From my understanding, much comes down to lack of awareness and understanding, impatience of the ways in which ADHD may manifest, and a mixture of intolerance and underappreciation of differences in thinking and communication styles

From my own experiences and observations, along with my interpretations of what others have told me, the root-cause often comes down to people-types. For example, some more serious people will consider the behaviours of their ADHD peers as signs that they are unserious, then judging them as lacking in authority or credibility. And/or, those who highly value procedure, may get frustrated at people with ADHD who tend to reject process-following in order to figure out their own ways of doing things. 

I personally believe that a significant factor is that the ADHD employee will often not be seen as their whole selves, including both areas of strengths and challenges. Instead only being seen for the latter – which stands out more in systems created around doing things in set ways.

Expert Opinions

Here are the observations of some others, including psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists, MDs, and others in a variety of ADHD and mental health related professions. Some of which aligns with the above, but there are many other different insights, too.

---

Clary Tepper, Ph.D.

Psychologist at Clary Tepper & Associates

“These tendencies may be negatively labelled a “childlike quality” and misinterpreted as a lack of maturity or seriousness, leading to stigma and discriminatory behaviour.”

As a psychologist specializing in adult ADHD, I’ve observed concerning trends regarding the high rates of workplace bullying experienced by individuals with ADHD. There are a few key factors that contribute to this problematic dynamic. First, the core symptoms of ADHD (inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity) can sometimes come across as unprofessional or disruptive in traditional work environments. Employees with ADHD may struggle to stay organized, remember deadlines, or filter their comments, which can rub more rigid or conventional co-workers the wrong way. These tendencies may be negatively labeled a “childlike quality” and misinterpreted as a lack of maturity or seriousness, leading to stigma and discriminatory behavior. 

Additionally, the executive function deficits common in ADHD can make it harder for affected individuals to navigate social situations and interpersonal conflicts at work. They may inadvertently say or do things that offend others, without fully realizing the impact. This can elicit frustrated or hostile reactions from less understanding colleagues, setting the stage for bullying. The stigma and misconceptions surrounding ADHD compound the problem. Some still see it as a “made-up” condition or a personal failing, rather than a genuine neurological difference. This lack of understanding and empathy creates a culture where ADHD-related behaviors are more likely to be ridiculed or ostracized. 

To address this issue, businesses must take a proactive approach. Providing comprehensive ADHD education for all employees, from entry-level staff to senior leadership, can help foster a more inclusive and compassionate workplace culture. HR teams should also be trained to recognize the signs of ADHD-related bullying and have clear protocols in place to swiftly address such incidents. Tackling the high rates of workplace bullying against those with ADHD requires a multi-faceted approach that combines education, policy reform, and a genuine shift in organizational culture. There is also business value in doing this – Given the skills and strengths unique to the ADHD brain, employees with ADHD can contribute in extraordinary ways to the success of any business.

---

Ishdeep Narang, MD

Child, Adolescent & Adult Psychiatrist at ACES Psychiatry

“They [leaders & HR] lack the tools to differentiate between a performance issue and a disability requiring accommodation”

Workplace bullying of adults with ADHD often arises from a fundamental misunderstanding of the condition. Neurotypical managers and colleagues may interpret ADHD traits not as neurological symptoms, but as character flaws. For example, the impulsivity that causes an employee to interrupt a meeting isn’t arrogance, and the inattention that leads to a missed detail isn’t carelessness. When these behaviors are seen as intentional, they breed frustration that can easily escalate into exclusion and bullying. 

The problem is systemic. Most leaders and HR departments are not trained to recognize the nuances of neurodivergence. They lack the tools to differentiate between a performance issue and a disability requiring accommodation. As a result, the situation is often mishandled as a “personality conflict,” and the employee with ADHD is disciplined for their symptoms, while the underlying bullying is ignored. 

Finally, the very traits that can be assets are often misperceived. The high energy, passion, and creativity associated with ADHD can be viewed as childish, with a lack of professionalism in environments that value reserved demeanors. This perception can lead to an individual being sidelined and not taken seriously, making them a vulnerable target. Shifting the focus from punishing these differences to harnessing them is key to creating a truly inclusive workplace.

---

Margot Lamson, MSW, LICSW

Holistic Psychotherapist for Adolescents and Adults at Margot Lamson Therapy

“These qualities, while often beautiful, are sometimes seen as disruptive in rigid workplace cultures that reward stoicism, emotional flatness, and conformist behavior.”

I am a licensed clinical social worker and trauma therapist in DC and have a niche of working with folks with ADHD, particularly high-achievers (very common in DC!). In my psychodynamic work, I interweave EMDR, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, and Internal Family Systems (parts work) to help my clients feel relief from self esteem issues, anxiety, and past traumas.

I see this dynamic at work play out a lot with my clients with ADHD. While workplace bullying is never justifiable, people with ADHD do tend to become frequent targets, and there are several interlinking psychological and relational reasons for this,

First, there’s the issue of misunderstanding the behavior of folks with ADHD. Executive functioning challenges like forgetfulness, time blindness, or task-switching difficulty are often interpreted by colleagues or supervisors as laziness, carelessness, or even incompetence. But in reality, the person with ADHD may be working twice as hard to keep up, and feeling increasingly burnt out doing so.

What I see as especially painful with my ADHD clients is that they are deeply self-aware of these patterns. They’ve internalized years upon years of messaging that they are “too much” or “not enough”. These themes show up in some way with almost every one of my clients with ADHD. So when a colleague sighs, rolls their eyes at them, or leaves them off an important email chain, it feels like a confirmation for what they already fear: that they’re failing. 

This brings in another layer – emotional sensitivity and rejection sensitivity. Many folks with ADHD really do “wear their hearts on their sleeves”. This isn’t immaturity, but more so a nervous system that’s wired for emotional intensity. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is where perceived rejection or criticism triggers an intense emotional response, and this is super common for people with ADHD. And unfortunately, workplace bullies can sense this. The person with ADHD can then become an easy target because they react emotionally, visibly, or try to people-please their way out of discomfort. 

In addition, many of my clients with ADHD are also neurodivergent in other ways – like being highly empathic, creative, or sensitive. They may communicate more openly, be more animated in meetings, or interrupt without meaning to. These qualities, while often beautiful, are sometimes seen as disruptive in rigid workplace cultures that reward stoicism, emotional flatness, and conformist behaviour. This leads to being perceived as “less professional” or not leadership material, which can fuel subtle forms of bullying like exclusion, micromanagement, or being passed over for projects. 

---

Riley Brown

Master Practitioner in Clinical Counselling (MPCC Provisional) at Riley Counselling

“Bullies tend to target people who are different or they see as vulnerable.”

People with ADHD being bullied is, unfortunately, very common. This happens in childhood and we would hope adults would know better. However, the reality is that there are adult bullies too. Understanding this issue is two-fold: knowing what are the challenges other people face when working with someone with ADHD, and understanding why people bully in the first place. 

Understanding the challenges others have with people with ADHD means looking at the impact ADHD has on behaviour. It can be very frustrating when we are working on an important project with a colleague who struggles to focus, procrastinates, and gets distracted. People with ADHD struggle with emotional regulation and rejection sensitivity, meaning that criticism can make that person spiral, and may lead to impulsive decisions such as quitting or giving up on a project. These are challenging behaviours to work with, even if we know that this is what ADHD looks like.

There are many reasons why someone may bully other people. It could be entitlement, need for power and control, bolstering self-image, lack of empathy or lacking recognition of wrong-doing. Many people still believe that bullying is actually good for other people despite the evidence to the contrary. Bullies tend to target people who are different or they see as vulnerable. And when you have ADHD, that emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity can act like a target on your back.

What needs to be stated again and again, is that the bullying and stigma that people with ADHD face is not their fault and they don’t deserve it. Workplace bullies need to face consequences for their actions and everyone needs to be reminded of the real harm bullying can cause.

---

Valerie Meyers-Bitz, MS, LPCC-S 

Mental Health Counsellor, Trainer, and Owner at The Kid’s Therapy Center

“ADHD looks like a lack of motivation or care, which frustrates my Type A staff that thrive off of structure”

As a group practice owner and holistic mental health professional, I’ve supported many staff with ADHD and I’ve seen the incredible creativity, passion, and out-of-the-box thinking they bring to their work. I’ve also witnessed the quiet struggles: masking, overwhelm, and the exhausting effort it takes just to appear “on top of things” in a system not designed for their brains. 

ADHD looks like a lack of motivation or care, which frustrates my Type A staff that thrive off of structure. Also, staff with ADHD tend to need smaller steps or goals, and flourish with lists and reminders. When left unsupported for both types of staff, it can lead to avoidance of working together, hurt, and in the end underperformance. But with the education on how the body works; genetics, neurotransmitters, etc., the relationship nourishes and the understanding allows for flexibility. These individuals working together often become the most innovative, emotionally attuned, and mission-driven members of the team. Supporting them well doesn’t mean lowering expectations for anyone. It means creating a workplace that sees their strengths, respects their challenges, and helps them thrive without losing themselves in the process.

---

Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Counsellor at The Baltimore Therapy Center

“Behaviors like these can be difficult for their peers to tolerate and may lead to higher levels of workplace bullying”

It’s true that people with ADHD get bullied more, and there’s a number of reasons for that. For example, some people can get frustrated when a person’s mind wanders off in the middle of a conversation, when they don’t pay attention, or when they can’t remember the things they have been told or shown. 

A person with ADHD can have a bit of a jumble in their head, and trying to keep things straight with executive functioning challenges can be hard. The way that manifests can irritate some people. And so they handle the irritation inappropriately by bullying, pushing back unreasonably, or being obnoxious. And that’s not helpful, but that’s their reaction to somebody who doesn’t remember to do little things like shut down their computer, or put the report where they were told to, or whatever it’s going to be – minor things, often, which the person with ADHD really is doing their best to manage.

Behaviors like these can be difficult for their peers to tolerate and may lead to higher levels of workplace bullying. It seems to them that those with ADHD are just careless or irresponsible, whereas the truth is they really mean to and want to be doing things ‘correctly’, but their brains work differently, and that makes some things that everyone else see as normal or simple quite challenging for them.

I remember I had a friend who had ADHD, and she would just jump into the middle of conversations with totally unrelated topics, which was hard for some people because there is a common social inappropriateness which people with ADHD may struggle to conform to. When there’s proper understanding about the reasons, though, people can often handle it better. But if there isn’t understanding, it’s harder, and some folks react to this by what they see as being firm; really, though, it’s just bullying that they justify to themselves because of the way people with ADHD come across to them.

---

Alex Gilbert 

ADHD & Learning Disabilities Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and founder of The ADHD Lounge, and Cape-Able Consulting.

“These folks have incredible strengths, but they’re so busy trying to squeeze into a neurotypical mould that no one gets to see what they’re actually capable of”

I was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia at age eight, and had resources and support all the way through college. Once I entered the workforce, I realized that level of support doesn’t exist for adults in the workplace. This fueled my desire to empower adults with ADHD and learning disabilities to recognize their unique strengths, and find supportive environments and jobs that fit them. There are so many misconceptions about neurodivergent individuals (that they are stupid, lazy, or incompetent), and that couldn’t be further from the truth. Neurodivergent brains work differently, and with the right support and environment, they can tap into their full potential.

What I’ve seen over and over again is that employees with undiagnosed or undisclosed ADHD and learning disabilities can get labeled as difficult or unreliable. When really they’re struggling with things like executive functioning, time management, or understanding with tasks that others might find simple. There is little understanding and support in most workplaces, so they end up overcompensating – putting in so much effort just to keep up. Internally it’s exhausting, and it often leads to burnout, mental health challenges, or losing their jobs. These folks have incredible strengths, but they’re so busy trying to squeeze into a neurotypical mold that no one gets to see what they’re actually capable of.

For Neurodivergent people, trying to mask in a world built for neurotypical brains is exhausting. Because ADHD is an invisible disability, people don’t always understand, and it can be hard to explain why a small task might feel so difficult. People with ADHD might fully grasp the big picture but can get stuck on the small steps to get there. It’s a mix of being highly capable in some ways, but struggling in others. 

When you’re constantly expected to fit into a system that isn’t designed for you, your strengths often go unnoticed and your weaknesses are highlighted. But when people with ADHD or learning disabilities are able to work in supportive environments that reduce executive functioning overload, they can really thrive. They can bring a ton of value to their teams and organizations with their creativity, ability to problem-solve, and the way they see things differently.

The problem is that the right support doesn’t currently exist in standard workplaces, so neurodivergent people end up having to ask for what they need over and over again, which can make them feel like a burden or like they’re being difficult. That dynamic holds people back from doing their best work. When inclusive practices become the norm, the entire team becomes more efficient, creative, and connected.

In my experience, neurodivergent people are some of the most brilliant, creative, innovative, and empathetic individuals out there. When they’re in environments where they feel supported and can be themselves, they thrive. When the support isn’t there, it’s a different story. They end up feeling dismissed or misunderstood, they struggle to keep up, burn out fast, and often find themselves stuck in a cycle of getting hired then fired. Breaking the cycle starts with awareness.

---

Dave Delaney 

Keynote speaker, author, business coach and host of the ADHD-focused podcast Wise Squirrels

“What’s interesting that I’ve found is that most accommodations a leader provides are beneficial for all team members, regardless of their neurotype.”

As a former employee of two technology companies and a speaker for Google, I’ve learned a ton about working as a person with undiagnosed ADHD and now diagnosed.

When I had an office job over a decade ago, I struggled to get started on tasks that didn’t interest me. Spreadsheets and number crunching were significant turnoffs, but creating content, strategizing, problem-solving, and interacting with our customers were what got me excited. As a “Wise Squirrel,” I didn’t know why I couldn’t get started on the dull stuff, but now I understand our ability to become hyper-focused on the dopamine-driven work and the need for novelty to keep it interesting.

I had a couple of managers get angry with me, but in retrospect, I couldn’t blame them. However, their handling of people was too harsh. I suppose had I known I had ADHD, I could have better explained my challenges, my masking, and not beat myself up so much. In a way, the worst bullies ADHDers face are often themselves, especially when we don’t know our neurotype or why we struggle in some areas. Knowledge is power, and self-knowledge is gold!  

For professionals with ADHD, I highly recommend seeking employment at companies and for leaders who understand neurodiversity and are willing to provide accommodations. 

What’s interesting that I’ve found is that most accommodations a leader provides are beneficial for all team members, regardless of their neurotype. So, instead of catering to one or a few people on your team, why not do this for everyone and improve your culture, reducing the costs associated with employee turnover (30-40% of their salary, according to SHRM)

---

Christina P. Kantzavelos, LCSW, MSW, MLIS

Psychotherapist, Coach and Writer at BeginWithToday

“… in systems that prioritize sameness and predictability, those strengths are often overlooked or misunderstood.”

As someone with ADHD and as a therapist who supports neurodivergent adults, I know how painful it can be when a workplace is not built to support different ways of thinking, feeling, and being. Before starting my private practice, I had to leave several work settings because I felt deeply unsupported. In some cases, I experienced direct or indirect bullying. In others, I was simply left without the understanding or accommodations, or I needed in order to thrive. Or, masking so much, that I ended up burning out and becoming sick. 

Unfortunately, this is a common experience for many neurodivergent people.

ADHD affects things like memory, time perception, and focus. These differences are often misunderstood as being disorganized or unreliable, rather than being recognized as different but valid and natural ways of processing the world.

We also tend to feel emotions deeply and express ourselves with honesty and openness. These are strengths, but in environments that reward emotional restraint or rigid professionalism, they can be misread as weakness or instability.

Many of us bring creative thinking, intuitive problem solving, and big picture vision. But in systems that prioritize sameness and predictability, those strengths are often overlooked or misunderstood.

There is still a lack of education and competency around neurodivergent diagnoses, especially when it comes to adults, women, or people who have learned to mask in order to survive. We often feel like we have to work twice as hard to be taken seriously. That pressure can lead to burnout and disconnection.

But when workplaces are guided by a strength-based model, everything changes. When differences are welcomed rather than managed, and when teams are trained to understand neurodivergent experiences, we are not only able to survive. We are able to thrive.

The problem is not our ADHD. The problem is the systems that do not make room for difference. But real change is possible. Inclusion begins when we stop expecting everyone to show up in the same way, and instead start creating space for the full spectrum of human experience.

---

Dr. Ryan Sultan, MD

Double board‑certified psychiatrist and the Founder & Medical Director of Integrative Psychiatry

“People with ADHD often require a lot of patience. Their mind works differently than a lot of non-ADHD folks.”

Particularly in professional settings, for many years I masked my ADHD because it was something people were judgmental of. I remember being in college with a group of friends and upon learning about my ADHD diagnosis and learning difficulties someone said to me: ‘I didn’t know people like that could go to college.’ It was also clear in medical school that some of the faculty felt that people with these difficulties should not become a doctor, period. They’d find out when students would request accommodations for private or distraction-free settings for exams.

I’ve had some difficulty in the workplace. I’ve found it particularly difficult when multiple people with ADHD are working together because they all have the same way of thinking. Teams tend to work better when they have a mixture of ADHD and non-ADHD individuals because there is a mixture of ways of thinking. These teams can play to the different strengths of the group members.

People with ADHD often require a lot of patience. Their mind works differently than a lot of non-ADHD folks. They require tasks to be broken down into smaller pieces, clear questioning, and guidance. I’ve worked with ADHD colleagues who need a bit more of my support through various phases of a task, and I’ve also worked with others without ADHD who have their own unique set of struggles in productivity and organization. I’ve found it’s harder to work with people who have hyperactive forms of ADHD.

Some examples of how simple it can be to frustrate others… I once left my coffee mugs everywhere in the office and this gave one of my colleagues anxiety. I also tend to bounce my leg and people I work with will hyperfocus on it. It can make them irritable.

---

Dr. Jennifer Cork, DSW, LCSW

Certified Autism Specialist (CAS) and ADHD-Certified Clinical Services Provider (ADHD-CCSP) at Acceptance Mental Health 

“What often occurs is a failure to recognize the disability aspects of the diagnosis, with a failure to adequately accommodate the disability”

When working with ADHD adults, I often tell them the story of David G. Neeleman, currently the CEO of Breeze Airways. Mr. Neeleman received an ADHD diagnosis as an adult and is an entrepreneur who started working in the airline industry after dropping out of college. His innovative ideas and out of the box thinking landed him his dream job at Southwest Airlines, but he was fired just six months later and told that he wasn’t fitting into the company culture because he was “driving everybody insane.” He took this in stride and started JetBlue Airlines, where he was also eventually fired, but he continued on in the industry, starting several other airlines. While he has had many career ups and downs, he is very successful, and credits his success to his ADHD.

The reason that I use his story as an example is because his experience is so common for ADHDers in the workplace. They can be highly valued for their strengths, but also disliked for the challenges that come along with the diagnosis. Management and peers may love all the good ideas that their ADHD employee comes up with, but eventually resent that the individual loses interest and someone else has to finish it up. They may love the high customer service rating of their ADHD employee, but eventually fire them because they talk to customers for too long. They might initially love the energy level of their new ADHD employee, but after several months, this person feels tiresome, so they push them out.

What often occurs is a failure to recognize the disability aspects of the diagnosis, with a failure to adequately accommodate the disability, and then the ADHDer becomes too much work so they eventually get fired or quit. This is seen by the statistics that show that those with ADHD are 30% more likely to struggle with employment and 60% more likely to be fired than their non-ADHD peers. This then leads to high rates of anxiety and depression as the ADHDer is left feeling like a failure. 

In my opinion as a clinical social worker and disability rights advocate, this is not a failure of the individual with ADHD, but of a society that is failing valuable employees by not understanding their disability. Society benefits from neurodivergent minds, but by failing to adequately accommodate neurodevelopmental disabilities, society is missing out on a great workplace resource.

---

Kevin Greene, MBA, MACP

Founder & Clinical Director, Registered Psychotherapist and Clinical Supervisor at Health & Happiness: Counselling and Wellness

“… when co-workers are dependent on this worker doing things the way everybody else does things there, conflict and bullying can erupt.”

In my experience, people with ADHD are bullied in the workplace because the ADHD traits of impulsivity, difficulty in focusing for long periods of time, and being argumentative are not valued in many work environments. If you think about what is expected from an employee, ADHD traits are often in opposition to what is considered “normal.”

Therefore, if there is a task that needs to be done in say 8 hours, a person with ADHD might find it hard to keep focused on that. When there is “group-think” and nobody speaks out with new ideas other than the person with ADHD, they stand out. And when co-workers are dependent on this worker doing things the way everybody else does things there, conflict and bullying can erupt.

Being argumentative does have value, as it is a trait that leads to challenging assumptions. Impulsivity can lead to discoveries that otherwise would not be found. And working for too long a period of time is not good for anybody.

I also want to point out that, on the flip side, if an employer can help a worker with ADHD by using these traits properly, then the ADHD employee can be outstanding. If they are given tasks where long-term focus is not important then they will likely be fine. If it is a task that they enjoy, then they can hyper-focus and get it done faster. When the team processes are adapted to the traits of the entire team, chances are the person with ADHD won’t stand out as a problem.

In fact, many ADHD artists, actors, and athletes are successful because their natural abilities and their work environments are in alignment. Impulsivity is important for them. They may need to quickly move between activities or actions. And their opinions are not only important but also very relevant.

---

Gary Hammond

Principal Coach and Consultant at IterateADHD

“There’s this lifelong sense of being different that creates vulnerability.”

Having spent over twenty years in technology, working my way up to Managing Director of a SaaS platform, I was diagnosed with ADHD many years ago but never really understood what it meant until yet another career implosion. In 2023, aged 42, something needed to change and I walked away from a “successful” career in tech management and ultimately took a year out to retrain as an ADHD coach. As a certified ADHD coach with lived experience of the condition, working broadly with professionals aged 35-55 primarily in the UK and Ireland, I feel I’ve a good perspective on workplace issues.

Most people are hesitant of anyone finding out – Nearly everyone I work with is scared at the thought of people finding out they have ADHD at work. They’re struggling but can’t say why without seeing a risk people will think they’re making excuses.

This experience with others in the world starts young – Exclusion from peer groups is well understood and research documents it throughout the ADHD lifetime, starting in childhood. Most of my clients describe feeling like outsiders, excluded or picked on at school by both peers and teachers, and this pattern just seems to continue into work. There’s this lifelong sense of being different that creates vulnerability.

We can’t stand unfairness – I’ve noticed that adults with ADHD have a strong reaction to and can’t stand unfairness or other workplace nonsense. They can feel like they’ve spent their lives being told they’re wrong about everything, so maybe that’s why they can’t tolerate workplace politics and drama. We’re more prone to speak up when others won’t, even if what we say is something others agree with.

Everything feels personal – A lot of my clients struggle with what looks like overreacting to workplace criticism at some point. A comment that might bounce off someone else can feel devastating to someone with ADHD. Years of being told you’re not good enough creates this raw sensitivity that some colleagues learn to exploit, even subconsciously.

It’s tiring trying to be “normal” – Many ADHD professionals fight to try to appear “normal” at work. When you can’t keep pretending anymore, and that usually happens eventually, people think you’ve suddenly become “too sensitive”. People don’t understand it’s actually a neurological difference, not a flaw.

Asking for help can make things worse – I’ve seen this in my coaching work, when someone finally gets the courage to ask for workplace adjustments, they can be seen as seeking special treatment or making excuses. Instead of getting support, they get resentment from colleagues.

Systems built for different brains – A lot of workplace setups, the constant meetings, rigid reporting, endless interruptions, are particularly tough for ADHD brains. When people struggle with these systems, it gets blamed on personal laziness rather than recognising that these processes might actually discriminate against different ways of thinking.

I’ve lived both sides of this equation myself, ADHD is in my opinion unfairly stigmatised when simple considerations and letting people take control of their way in the world at work could make all the difference, if only they felt empowered to.

---

Jeannette Paxia

After-Bullying Confidence Recovery Speaker/Coach and Co-Author of Superheroes On The Spectrum

“… a response to fear of the misunderstood is often negative, creating an environment that includes bullying”

When I was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age, the support system was minimal, leaving me to navigate the challenges on my own. The tests I underwent made me feel different and isolated, a recurring theme throughout my life. As an adult, this sense of being alone persisted, and I often faced workplace bullying. Now, as a speaker, coach, and author, I dedicate my work to helping clients overcome workplace bullying and achieve success. As a mother of an autistic adult with ADHD and another child with ADHD, I continue to witness the struggles of neurodiverse individuals, this time from a different perspective. My books and speeches emphasize that being different is not negative; rather, it enriches the world with diversity and intrigue.

When people encounter people that are different, they do not always take the time to understand them, they often jump to conclusions that the person is “weird” and instead of accepting them they resort to bullying. Differences often create fear in others, and a response to fear of the misunderstood is often negative, creating an environment that includes bullying.  

Neurodivergence manifests uniquely in each person; some may take longer to respond, not be able to sit at a desk without occupying themselves with a tool to help them focus (I often doodle, or use a fidget spinner), they may interrupt or become very excited about having an answer to something, shake their leg continuously, seem over excited about “nothing”, get easily distracted, seem like they are not listening to you when they are. Although these seem like negative traits, they can be advantageous in the right context (e.g. what is imagination, if not mind-wandering!). There are also many other presentations that make us valuable co-workers and friends. We are often full of energy, have great ideas (I am an idea generator!), take risks that others are afraid to take, are very self-aware and some of the best co-workers and friends you can have. 

My work underscores the importance of embracing our differences. Because someone is different it does not mean that difference is bad, and once you understand what someone needs, you can help build them up instead of trying to hurt them, or tear them down. Instead of bullying or making fun of someone who is different, be curious, ask the questions you need to ask to best support them. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, whether we are neurotypical or neurodivergent, we can learn to love and support each other just the way we are. 

---

---

Reference

Nielsen, M. B., Tangen, T., Idsoe, T., Matthiesen, S. B., & Magerøy, N. (2016). Post-traumatic stress disorder as a consequence of bullying at work and at school: A literature review and meta-analysis. Personality and Individual Differences, 92, 18-24.