For many adults with ADHD, the struggle with working memory is a visible daily battle. However, a more subtle challenge lies in how the ADHD brain handles long-term memory, which actively distorts self-perception and confidence. Whilst not enough is yet known, it seems to be more than that people with ADHD simply forget things that were once there; research suggests the issue starts much earlier. According to Skodzik et al. (2017), long-term memory impairments in adults with ADHD are often not a failure of retrieval, but rather a result of the memory not being correctly “encoded” at the moment the experience occurs. Because the ADHD brain is frequently under-stimulated or distracted, it may fail to effectively “tag” a positive moment as important, causing the event to evaporate rather than being filed away in the long-term archives.
This encoding gap can create a sense loss, and fear of forgetting the milestones that define a life. According to the Inattentive ADHD Coalition (2024), many people report that their past feels like a blur of ‘missing scenes,’ where they struggle to recall significant events like their children’s early years or major international trips. This also means forgetting lots of good things, while remembering the bad – which impacts self identity and self confidence. The memory challenges are compounded by a phenomenon known as ruminative bias. While we fail to encode the “good” due to distraction, we often replay our mistakes and rejections over and over in our heads. This involuntary mental rehearsal acts as a manual encoding process, effectively telling the brain that these negative experiences are the only ones worth keeping. Over time, this creates a cherry-picked version of history where we remember every failure in high definition while our successes remain a faded, inaccessible fog. This lack of a positive internal archive at the same time as a clear negative internal archive leads to problems with how people perceive themselves, based on their historical identity.
To counter this biased reflection and protect self-worth, people with ADHD need to transition from passive experiencing to active, conscious remembering. We cannot rely on the brain’s subconscious to archive our wins; we must instead intentionally pause during a positive moment to recognise it and “manually” encode it. By visualising the details and running the event through our minds several times, and then revisiting those memories later just like we do involuntarily with regrets – we can ensure they move from temporary storage into our long-term memory that forms part of our identity. This deliberate ‘replay’ of the good acts as a necessary weight on the scale, allowing for a more realistic and positive self-view that acknowledges achievements as clearly as challenges.
References
Hammer, C. (2024, February 19). If you have ADHD and are forgetful, you are not alone. Inattentive ADHD Coalition. https://www.iadhd.org/blog/adhd-forgetful-struggle-find-solutions
Skodzik, T., Holling, H., & Pedersen, A. (2017). Long-term memory performance in adult ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 21(4), 267–283. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054713510561